So, I figure its time for me to actually write a blog that has some sort of meaning to it. Most of the time the things I write are nothing but ramblings that don't matter here or there. But it's time to write something that really can be understood.
I feel like I should break out into the song "Nature Boy" especially the last line of the chorus.
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn ... is just to love ... and be loved in return."
No, I'm not in love. No, I'm not in a relationship. But those are words that mean a lot to me. I've spent a lot of time recently beating myself up because I wish I could go back and redo some things in my life. I wish I could have seen where my life would be right now ... but then I would be one person less. In some ways I wish I could erase the last three years of my life - all of the troubles I caused, all of the pain I felt and all of the issues that have arisen because of it. But if I were to do that I would lose the most important thing I have in this world - my son. And while I wish things were different in some circles, I can't change the past.
I've heard somewhere that I'm cruel, and that I've changed and I don't know what made me the way I am and how I've become. I may have changed - but only back into what I was before all of this happened. I'm sure one of you who reads this knows who says those thing about me. I know you're her best friend. But that doesn't matter anymore. I'm not out to insult - I'm just out to state the facts. I was going to be a reporter and with that job comes the responsibility of reporting the truth. So you want the truth?
Go ahead and badmouth me - go ahead and try to make me feel awful with the things you write. You got yourselves into the position you're in and I tried to help you out. Learn from this - treat others nicely and don't yell at them all the time and maybe, just maybe, you'll get farther next time. The things you say have no effect on me at all. I laugh when you write because you're making yourselves angry and anger only hurts you.
And if you're going to comment on this and you don't have an account - be balsy and leave your name instead of being a wimp.
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5 comments:
I really wish you would let me come visit! ~Jaimee
this is Jean...I got engaged yesterday! And I miss you!!!
i am glad you can undo the past three years, because then i wouldnt have you.. and you happen to be a very important part of my life
Just saw your blog and realised it sounds kinda like mine. Which i guess really isn't a good thing, but unsurprising none-the-less!
I'm praying that things will get better for both of us!!!
Stac
hey tab it's rachel.. havent talked to you in awhile only when i bump in to you here or there.. miss you and if u ever need anything on days that ur down even just someone to call up that n vent stuff on i'm more than happy to listen.. <3
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