Irritations

There are so many things that irritiate me lately.  My best friend tries to be helpful, but instead says the wrong thing and irritates me.  And when I try to politely tell him to buzz off he gets irritated with me and then he won't talk to me again.

I'm irritated that I still have a year of school left.  I want so badly to be done so that I can go out and start my life.  I have heard it said that there is a point in schooling when someone says "it is time to be done!"  and I am at that point.  I didn't feel that way after high school - I was excited to get into the thick of college and get on with my life.  Well, that didn't happen exactly as I had planned.  I turned into a single mother still going to school and still living with my parents.  Don't get me wrong, I love my family and I don't know how I could do this without them, but at the same time I am so tired of depending on them for what feels like everything.

I have spent weeks this summer digging up the return lines for our pool and we FINALLY have it fixed.  After 2nd degree burns on my back, countless hours wallowing in mud and clay, massive amounts of dirt and yuck, and it is finally done.  And now I can't swim.  It is 90 degreees outside and I can't get into my pool because there are other people using it.  

I don't feel like i have accomplished anything this summer.  I have a job, I have a child, I live with my folks and I don't feel like I've done anything.  Dad asked me to help him with a website and I haven't had the resources to do it ... and I just looked at it and he tried to do it and it's just not quite up to the standards it needs to be.  I love my father but he has no idea how to make things readable and the pictures are too big.  So that is yet another thing that I haven't accomplished in my short summer vacation.

I feel like a failure at everything I do.  It would be nice if for once I could feel like I do something well.